Don’t Man Up, Human Up
In a world where strength and resilience are celebrated, one stereotype has persistently haunted the masculine image – that 'men don't cry.' This long-held belief is more than just a cultural truism; it has dictated the emotional lives of countless men, forcing them into a façade of stoic inexpressiveness. But at what cost?
We often employ phrases like 'Man up,' or 'Be a man,' but seldom consider the implications. As men, we are taught from a young age that showing vulnerability equates to weakness. We learn to suppress our emotions, to lock them away, creating a façade of stoicism that belies our true feelings. This societal expectation contributes to a widespread mental health crisis among men that is often overlooked. And if some fellow man shares we often ridicule him and give him the same “Man Up” advise
During my personal struggles with mental health, I too succumbed to this belief. The fear of judgment was overwhelming, convincing me to stay silent and bottle up my emotions. I don't think even my closest of friends were aware of what I was going through as I was busy "manning up”. It was as if I was always wearing a mask and things went from bad to worse in terms of mental well-being due to me not sharing at all. I knew countless other men who also didn’t believe in sharing and subconciously started following their example.
It was only when I allowed myself to cry and share that I discovered a profound sense of release. I wasn't breaking down; I was breaking open, allowing my emotions to flow freely and honestly. This was not a sign of weakness but a testament to the strength of my vulnerability. Once I learned to cry and share, I learned to live unburdened. The transformation was so liberating that I now even unabashedly shed a tear or two when my favorite actor meets an untimely end on screen :)
Scientifically, crying holds numerous benefits that enhance our mental and physical well-being. Research from the University of Minnesota illustrates that crying can activate the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which aids in restoring the body to a state of balance. It allows us to release pent-up emotions, reduce stress, and relieve pain.
Suppressing our emotions, as many men are conditioned to do, is more than just an antiquated stereotype; it's a health hazard. When we invalidate or suppress our emotions, it increases anxiety, depression, and stress.
“The willingness to show emotion and allow vulnerability is an indicator of strength, not weakness.”
Breaking the stigma surrounding men and crying is not an easy task. It requires courage, a willingness to challenge societal norms and a fundamental shift in how we perceive and define masculinity. But the benefits – mental, emotional, and physical – make it worth the effort.
As we are coming to the end of Men's Mental Health Awareness Month, let us challenge the belief that 'men don't cry.' Instead, let's promote emotional health, resilience, and authenticity. Remember, crying and sharing does not make you less of a man. It makes you a human who knows how to embrace your emotions and navigate through life with self-awareness.
From this day forward, don't be afraid to share your feelings. Don't suppress yourself. Let your true emotions out, express yourself, show your feelings, and don't worry about shedding a tear or two. And when a fellow man opens up to you, offer him encouragement and understanding instead of ridicule. We are all navigating this complex tapestry of life, and it's time we redefine the standards of strength and masculinity to include emotional expression and vulnerability.
Instead of Manning up! Human Up!
“Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.”