Growing up to be a little boy!
Nice, France 2013. I was on my annual solo trip to Nice in France. Tired of all the walking I had done in the day soaking in all the niceties, I was sitting idly on the beautiful pebble beach of Nice observing the beautiful sunset and soaking in the calm the waves brought in. In a happy mood, I just started picking up throwing pebbles into the sea just for fun, suddenly I saw another set of pebbles flying into the sea and going further than mine. I looked around and saw this 9/10-year-old girl flicking them as well.
“Want to compete?” She asked innocently giggling after we had thrown a few pebbles together for a bit, “Want to see who throws the farthest”?
“Hmm… Not a bad way to wind up the evening, I guess”, I said “Yes, let’s do it” thinking a 30-year-old me would easily surely take down a girl third my age. Little did I know that I was grossly mistaken. I should have observed her mother’s smile better and listened to her when she said “ She is quite good” in a thick British accent as she probably knew what was coming at me.
As the sun was setting, we agreed on 11 rounds and decided whoever throws the farthest most number of times in these 11 rounds wins. She very carefully chose her pebbles and we started off.
And round after round, I was being given a lesson in the art of pebble throwing, and after those 11 rounds, and she won comprehensively 7-4 !! and there I stood there quite humbled. “It's all about the wrist position and the pebbles you choose” She gleamed with a twinkle in her eye revealing her winning secret.
But this was not the only lesson I got that day. Every time she threw one, the way she jumped for joy and how in the moment she was through the whole time was a story in itself. She didn’t win any cup for defeating me, her name didn’t come any papers or on TV but the way she celebrated this simple joy of life was better than probably I had ever done for bigger achievements of mine. There was no aggression in her celebration, it was just sheer joy and an expression of being in the present moment and soaking all in. I said thank you and we went our separate ways, she still jumping up and down while walking off and me just smiling looking at her, but the lessons she taught me that day have stayed till now. The lesson to be in the present moment, celebrate the simple joys of life and don’t be afraid to let the inner child come out apart from choosing the right pebble off course J. As in those moments I was back to being a kid too, smiling, laughing, and enjoying with little care of the world.
Even now when I feel too much like an adult, I try to speak to a kid if possible or watch some of their antics on YouTube to remind myself to not take this life seriously and care only for this moment as that is all I have. Watching them also reminds me how all this “growing up” has made us so biased, fearful, anxious and so set in the ways that we have to strive hard to be just happy. Whereas a kid is curious, seeking answers, trying new things, finding happiness in the simplest of things, has no bias for any color, religion, or creed, always ready to make friends and above all lives at the moment.
When I started learning meditation, the first this I was told was to see a video of a kid sleeping. See how he/she breathes through her whole body and especially observe the belly and learn. How peacefully they sleep and fully they breathe. Most of us when we breathe don’t engage our core/belly at all now and have become chest heavy breathers. And now we are re-learning how to do it from kids, that should tell you what this “growing-up” has done to us. We now wait for big things to happen to be happy or to go someplace to be happy, mostly live in our past or future and worst of all most of us have forgotten how to even breathe.
So, every now and then I would encourage you to observe kids, speak to them, play with them, go in their fantasy lands and let your inner child out and let him/ her have some innocent fun. Unlearn and re-learn things we have lost in this idea of becoming an adult. Trust me you would see the difference, It does pay to be a kid once in a while and let go of all the conditioning you have been through. Bring out and preserve that inner child in you.
And guess what I am re-learning from a kid – Reading books again. As I am competing with an 8-year-old niece of my wife who in this digital age is a vociferous book reader and we are in a bet on who would get to 30 books first. I am 200% sure she is going to win by some margin but that’s forcing me to cut down on my social media app time and read which is making me re-discover the joy of reading a book all over again. Plus, it is giving me chance to see a kid celebrate her victory all over again.
“When I grow up I want to be a little boy”
- Joseph Heller